Well, we had a fun week this past week.  It all started last Friday when we noticed a boil on the front of Cameron’s hip.  The next day we had his birthday party (and he got into a yellow jacket nest, but that is another story), during which he became increasingly irritable.  By the time we got home he would not quit crying.  We noticed the boil had gotten noticeably worse and was starting to get big.  He would not let you look at it without screaming.

So, we took him to the emergency room and had them look at it.  One of the worst things about hospital’s (aside from the reason you are there), is that you have to wait forever.  Well, surprisingly this time we were in rather quickly.  About 20 minutes in and we had seen a doctor and they told us that it was probably Staph and they were going to prescribe Bactrim.  Sweet!  In and out, no problem.  Wrong!  We had to wait for an hour before getting the prescription (or even talking to anyone else).  It was not very busy, and despite my best arguments Kristin refused to believe that they kept us in there for an hour so they could bill us something for the room.  When someone finally came to us, they gave us the decidedly lame excuse (I had walked around asking what was taking so long) that someone had an S-shaped arm and that was the hold up.  It is a little disturbing to me that a broken arm basically shuts down the ER.  I know it’s not true and the guy was just letting us know we were getting off easy, and we were grateful for it (getting off easy, not the reminder).

Anyways, come Monday the boil had not gotten any better.  So, I took Cam to his pediatrician, who promptly told me to get to the hospital and have that thing surgically drained.  Which, he informed me, is an inpatient surgery.  We get there and have the surgery done.  They had to poke two holes in the abscess b/c it was so large and drain it at both ends.  We have to stay there overnight to monitor the infection and receive IV antibiotics.

If you know how a 2 year old behaves, you surely know that an IV is not really part of their plan.  Cameron absolutely hated having it done (of course), but once it was in there, he was wide open.  Running around, playing, and generally just driving us nuts.  So his IV lasted about 3 doses before messing up.  Well, we didn’t want to have to give him another IV (holding down your kid while he screams your name in pain is fun for no parties involved, believe me).  So they decided to put him on oral antibiotics, which, the doctor kindly informs us is slightly above maggot feces on the taste chart.

Predictably, Cameron cannot hold it down.  Most people take this medicine in a gel cap.  However, a 2 year old cannot swallow a gel cap so they basically make a suspension liquid of it and expect him to swallow it.  The pharmacists assures us that there is no way to flavor the medicine and we will have to deal with it (we are at a children’s hospital, by the way).  Since he has no way of taking the oral antibiotic, and he has to have antibiotics, we resort to giving him a shot.  This is after he is stuck 2 times unsuccessfully in attempts to give him an IV.  A day slips by (everything takes forever in a hospital).

Next day, they decide to try once more for an IV.  2 more unsuccessful attempts.  Finally, they have the anesthesiologist put one in and get 2 more doses in him before he messes the IV up.  This IV was on the inside of his elbow and they put a thing on his arm to prevent him from bending it, this lasted about 5 minutes before he was bending it.  Another day slips by.

The next day Kristin calls Access Pharmacy in Hixson to see if they can do something about it.  They say “of course” and display a great amount of disgust in the fact that a pharmacist at a children’s hospital expects cannot do the same.  We get the doctor to call in a prescription, and Kristin goes and picks it up.  They say that if he holds down a dose they will (finally) let us leave.  He does and we go.  The medicine made up by Access is so much better, it is amazing.  I tasted both of them.  I have to say that compounding pharmacists are a godsend to parents.  We have used them several times to make medicines easier for Cameron to take.  If only more people knew about it.

One thing that I have learned as a parent is how, sometimes, children are so easy to satisfy.  The first time I noticed this was when a spectacular, 20 minute fireworks show drew the same response from Cameron as when I turn off the vacuum cleaner.  Yay!

A more acute and recent example of this happened on our recent trip to Florida.  We thought it would be a great idea to take Cameron to the gulfarium.  We went and watched the dolphin show.  There we were, watching these amazing creatures demonstrating uncanny human traits.  They were throwing basketballs, balancing them on their noses, kicking them and doing flips.  I was amazed.  That stuff is really cool.  All Cameron could say was wabah (Cameronish for water), a phrase he screamed over every single bridge we ever cross in the car.

So my advice to all parents out there is, save your money and get your kid a cardboard box, turn on and off the vacuum, or drive over bridges repeatedly.  It is much cheaper, but none of us will ever do it will we?  When will we learn?